Why I quit dating!

True friendship is the Key to a lasting relationship!

As a single woman that was married for a long time, I find getting back into the dating game quite challenging. The anxiety of meeting new acquaintances cloud your mind and your judgment.

As a person that has failed at love so many times, I find it hard to trust myself completely to pick the right guy. With the vast amount of online dating sites, the opportunity to meet the right person is like finding a jewel in the middle of the ocean. I give up!

On the dating sites, they tell you how compatible you are with the person. Keep in mind, that is based on how honest the person was.  Once you reach out to that person the person is either interested or not. You’re let up or let down. If you are let up you begin this journey of discovery. I found that there is an expected quick decision you have to make, to date or not to date based on limited knowledge.  You are even expected to go on a meet and greet type of date before you even feel comfortable talking on the phone. The times we live in is quick and in a hurry. There is no time to enjoy the process. I was so caught up in finding the right one that I lost sight of the first step to finding the right mate was finding the right friend.

Wow, how had I missed this key factor?  I had to pump the breaks on my thinking and slow way down and take my mind off of dating and put it on cultivating good friendships.  Most people I know who are happily married have one thing in common. They are best friends. They genuinely like each other.

That is something I feel is lost in this culture today. The art of friends first. Most people are looking at the job or the money or even the outer appearance as being the qualifications for a good mate. Those things are nice but will they keep you together when those superficial things change? Will you be able to keep your marriage vowels through the trials of life? Your friendship will help you to succeed together.

I can remember when my grandfather passed away, my grandmother who had always been so strong was so lost without him. I did not understand it then but I do now. They had a friendship that started when they were children and lasted until death, for over 90+ years and that friendship carried them through the trails of life. They were truly one. I witnessed their love and commitment to one another and how they did everything for the betterment of each other.

I believe God ordains friendships.  And the best way to fulfill the marriage vowels and have a love that stands the test of time is to pray God blesses you to marry your best friend. They know you at your core and still love you and you do the same,

So instead of dating, I am looking forward to developing true a friendship, now all the anxiety and pressure is gone and I’m enjoying the journey.

Alexis Smith,

Author of “A Christian Woman’s Guide to finding

Prince Charming and keeping the Toads away!”

msalexis.org

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