Don’t let your thoughts get the best of you!

Tips to help you keep your relationship healthy.

  Song of Solomon  2:15 Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that destroy the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”

How many times do we go into self- preservation mode when we feel our self-esteem is threatened or we feel our needs are not being met? Simply put,  we are just one thought away from changing our lives for better or for worst.

I can remember the time when a friend and I were having a conversation and she commented on how she felt she had to keep her husband in check because she didn’t want him to take her for granted. I asked her why she felt that way and she replied that he works all week and he decided to go in for a little while on Sat.

 Her thoughts… He’s been at work all week it’s my time with him now. Why should I have to wait around for him to come home. I’ll show him that I’m not going to wait around for him. So I’ll go and come back later so he’ll be waiting for me. I’m not going to be at his beck and call….

Sounds familiar?

How many times do we play that game or better yet, allow the enemy to plant those seeds of discontentment in our heart.

As women of God sometimes we forget our marriage is not based on the world’s principles. It’s based on God ‘s principles. “Love”

 I Cor 13:4-8  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

We are not only to serve our husbands and honor him, we are also to be a helper to him. We are on assignment. That is why it is necessary to stay out of self. One little thought of discontentment can open the door to a host of other feelings that can cause the enemy to come in like a flood. This can create a multitude of reactions which will cause a multitude of chain reactions that can lead to divorce.

This analogy happens far too often in relationships. Feelings left unattended, can create continual problems if not dealt with. By acknowledging and turning it over to God is the best practice.  Allow him to help you resolve and heal from any issues you have first. Then once you see clearly, you can pray for your husband and allow God to use you to be a help for him.  Matt. 7:5

Here are a few tips to help keep your relationship healthy:

  1. Guard your heart. Prov. 4:23     “ Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

2.  Have a grateful heart.  1 Thess 5:18 “  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

3.  Bring all thoughts to captivity of Christ. When the thoughts come, the correct response should be based on truth and with a grateful heart.

2Cor:10:5 “ Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

4.   Renew your mind.

 Roman 12:2. “Do not be conformed to this world,[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

5.   Think on these things….  

Phil 4:8-9  “ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

6.  Pray for one another.

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Marriage is not for the faint hearted. It takes a discerning mind, a humble heart and lots of prayer to be the woman of God you need to be. At the end of the day, Love wins!

 May God be your strength!

Alexis Smith,

 Christian Relationship and Business Coach,

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